Conflict

Above: How to NOT handle conflict

Below is an example of a great way to handle conflict...

"I have not had many conflicts at work, mostly because I believe I am a relatively hard-working employee who dedicates all of my time to the job rather than interacting with people that may cause a conflict.  Also, I have not worked in that many work groups at my previous jobs, which is often a hot bed for controversy and conflict.  However, I was in a situation in one of my classes when I studied in London that closely resembled a work place, group conflict.

During fall of my junior year, I studied abroad in London through NYU, which had a very large Jewish population.  I have a few very good friends that are Jewish, so I am comfortable with the culture, just as other non-Jewish NYU London students were.  My friend and I took a very interesting marketing course and were paired with three girls who were friends and very devout Orthodox Jews.  The assignment was a six week project that had a written, research deliverable component and an in-depth PowerPoint presentation at the end concerning marketing strategies of European companies.  It is often hard coordinate when to do group work while abroad as many people are traveling, people are very diverse and have different work styles, and friends of group members are often visiting from other countries.  What made this group particularly difficult to deal with was the fact that those three girl could not do work on the weekend; their religion permitted them from doing so while they could also not do basic activities such as turning on lights or riding in a taxi.

Three weeks into the project, we had gotten very little done, relative the amount we needed, and my friend and I were the only ones that had done anything.  The girls could not work on the weekends and were always travelling with each other on Wednesdays and Thursdays.  We felt like we were doing all the work but still falling behind, which created conflict.  We felt we were pulling the load while the girls accused us of not being considerate to their religion, which was certainly not the case.  In the end, I proposed that instead of telling people when we cannot work, we should devise a calendar that says when we can, so we could effectively choose dates.  I also offered to do all the typing and research on the weekends as long as the girls were there to contribute ideas and information that they had done on dates they could work.  We ended up getting an A on the project and becoming good friends with the girls.

Our conflict was rooted in lack of communication as well as a sense that the other members of the group were not being understanding.  However, I believe we achieved all three of the desired outcomes of a conflict after we resolved our issues:

1.     Agreement – we sat down made a calendar stating when people can and would work and stuck to it, while the girls agreed to be there while my friend and I compiled information

2.     Stronger Relationships – we learned to trust each other and like each other not just as team members but as people too.  We actually all ended up travelling to Morocco together in a large group and had a great time, while one of the girls bought my friend and I two customary Jewish garments.

3.     Learning – we learned a lot about conflict resolution, effective communication, each other, and Judaism throughout the process which made us closer friends and teammates"